feelings as of nov 26 6:24pm

ii have heard the word BYE before,

but never has it stayied in my mind

and lingered on down to ma heart

and left this unusual feeling im not use to...

but wait

i had this feeling before and its the feeling that i hate.....

the feeling where im 3 steps from losing someone i truely want and need in ma life......

the last time i felt this feeling is when ma dad said " BYE SHY"

and that was when i was seven and 12 years letter

hes trying 2 make up and turn that goodbye into a hi.......

i dont wanta have to wait 12 years i just dont..

i dont want that goodbye please take it back i hate it...

and its still lingering like windchims on a rainny day

.........like today.........

so is this the day that we truely say BYE????

when just lastnite everything was ok and fine

.... with me...... =/

it hasnt been long enough

for me to feel these feelings so i want 2 lock them up...

just lock them up and throw it in the PACIFIC ocean.

..yea that ocean....

no one ever find it then....

and if they do ima take it back and throw it in another ocean.....

why???

because these are the feelings i hate...

the ones where i cant even think

with out thinking about you....

i cant even close ma eyes

with out seeing your face

i cant even look at ma hands

without feeling your touch.....

damn this is just to much....

im only 19 i cant possibly fall like this....

but....ummmm.....

wat exactly am i falling for.....

falling????understandment

of fell.....

listen i fell for u

i fell so hard i dont wanta get up.....

i have people with open arms trying 2 help me up....

but im not gonna reach out for them......

i felll and the right thing 2 say is i dont wanta get up....

i want u 2 fall next it me

even if its on purpose and just hold me.....

shiiiiiii......... thats wat i want....

but the ? is are u welling to fall....

u may be trippen

as of now not knowing wat u trippen over....

but ur good at this u have balance i dont......

i dont even know where all of this is comming from

sooo where ever this is comming from i want it 2 stop

and go away......

i dont want to think about this

because tears are 2steps from falling

and i cant take this shit.....

so ttyl

(just simply sum thoughts not a poem)