scared and hurt

Just the thought of me hurting you makes me weak.....
i Never thought of us breaking apart..
Not breaking apart because one of us doing wrong....
but breaking apart because of me moving away....

Words cant express the way i feel
SCARED & HURT is a understatment

Scared because i dont know where to go from here...
Hurt because this pain is not fair...
NOt FAIR... to me let alone YOU....

I wish i can go back in time
and change things
WELL NO i dont
because if i do im scared that time would somehow mess up what we have
and this is something PURE....
like fantasy PURe
story telling PURE
or maybe movie PURE
how about 007 PURE (nsider)
whatever it is i love it....

but yet and still im still HURT
HURT because i dont know whats going to happen next

WHERE DO GO FROM HERE????
CAN YOU ANSWER THAT????
NO!!!!!! me neither =/

all i know is my love for you will never change
AMINAH ROBERTS I LOVE YOU

simply just thoughts

i could sit here and break down ma life
i could sit here and tell u how i feel
i could sit here and pour my heart out 2 you
but im NOT.....
i could sit here and feel your head up with all this mushy stuff
i could sit here and tell u how much i need u
and blah blah blah
but im NOT
ima just tell you I LOVE U and im HAPPY UR IN MA LIFE

I JUST WANT YOU AROUND

bestfriend i love u so much and i will do anything for you. i dont know how many times i have 2 express this feeling 2 you... sometimes i feel your my wife ( NO HOMO) lol stop laughin..... I MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND....

YOU ARE THE TYPE OF FRIEND I CAN SIT NEXT TO FOR HOURSSS NOT SAYING A WORD..... AND GET UP AND WALK AWAY AND SAY 2 MYSELF THAT WAS THE BEST DAMN CONVERSATION OF MY LIFE.... JUST BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW...LOL WHAT MY THOUGHTS THINK... WHAT MA MIND SPEAK AND WHAT MY HEART CRYS FOR.....

I LOVE YOU SANDRA SHY'KYIA LABIB.... NOW THEN AND FOREVER *NO MATTER WHAT*

feelings as of nov 26 6:24pm

ii have heard the word BYE before,

but never has it stayied in my mind

and lingered on down to ma heart

and left this unusual feeling im not use to...

but wait

i had this feeling before and its the feeling that i hate.....

the feeling where im 3 steps from losing someone i truely want and need in ma life......

the last time i felt this feeling is when ma dad said " BYE SHY"

and that was when i was seven and 12 years letter

hes trying 2 make up and turn that goodbye into a hi.......

i dont wanta have to wait 12 years i just dont..

i dont want that goodbye please take it back i hate it...

and its still lingering like windchims on a rainny day

.........like today.........

so is this the day that we truely say BYE????

when just lastnite everything was ok and fine

.... with me...... =/

it hasnt been long enough

for me to feel these feelings so i want 2 lock them up...

just lock them up and throw it in the PACIFIC ocean.

..yea that ocean....

no one ever find it then....

and if they do ima take it back and throw it in another ocean.....

why???

because these are the feelings i hate...

the ones where i cant even think

with out thinking about you....

i cant even close ma eyes

with out seeing your face

i cant even look at ma hands

without feeling your touch.....

damn this is just to much....

im only 19 i cant possibly fall like this....

but....ummmm.....

wat exactly am i falling for.....

falling????understandment

of fell.....

listen i fell for u

i fell so hard i dont wanta get up.....

i have people with open arms trying 2 help me up....

but im not gonna reach out for them......

i felll and the right thing 2 say is i dont wanta get up....

i want u 2 fall next it me

even if its on purpose and just hold me.....

shiiiiiii......... thats wat i want....

but the ? is are u welling to fall....

u may be trippen

as of now not knowing wat u trippen over....

but ur good at this u have balance i dont......

i dont even know where all of this is comming from

sooo where ever this is comming from i want it 2 stop

and go away......

i dont want to think about this

because tears are 2steps from falling

and i cant take this shit.....

so ttyl

(just simply sum thoughts not a poem)

WORD STAR

i question: who am i....

divided into two....
how about u play me
and i play u
IMA TAKE THIS SLOW
SO STAY WITH ME
ima lil young with alot of hopes
but more dreams
ma fantasy world holds its own melody
ARE U THERE....
YOU SEE I HAVE
these dark clouds around ma brain
thoughts drivin me insane
cant seem to breath
its tic tocing constantly
this pain i keep so close
its wraped around ma soul
i cant stop actting like a bitch
sooo ma mind holds this unusual itch

AM I LOSING YOU...IMA SPEED IT UP
IM JUST GETTIN STARTED
It's time for ME to replace
certain OLDS
and well established
BAD Habits,
of memorys,
judgments,
and belief.
When it's about
What I have,
What I know,
How I look,
Who I know,
My talents,
Or my accomplishments,
Any comparison or judgment can find a difference
And label it a DEFEAT.
and ma label is simple ITS SIMPLY ME
IMA TAKE IT SLOW NOW
It's time to redirect your attention
To my reality that
that dint of being alive and aware,
And for no other reason than that,
I AM worthy,
And I WILL choose
From a position of self-awareness
To act upon or accept MY OTHER differences,
From actions
Of basic self acceptance,
I can manifest
youth, beauty, grace and confidence.
SHHHHH CAN I PLEASE HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE..
I KNOW UNDERSTANDING THIS TAKE PATIENCES....
but thats just me being me...
unusual.....
misunderstood......
for who i am
and what i live
for.....
if u dont like it skrew u
NOW U CAN GO 2 SLEEP BECAUSE MA WORDS
SEEM 2B N......2...... DEEP
FOR WHO U ARE
I AM
AS SIMPLE AS A
POETIC ***WORDSTAR***

behind these eyes are the words i try to hide, feelings i dont like to show, tears i hide, someone once told me my eyes tell ma soul, as much as that can be misunderstood.... it holds alot of truth... ma EYES tell ma SOUL

DON'T EVER

DON'T ever try to understand everything

some things will just never make sense.

DON'T ever be reluctant

to show your feelings

when ur happy, give in to it

when ur not, live with it

DON'T ever be afraid to try to

make things better

you might be surprise at the results.

DON'T ever take the weight of the world

on your shoulders.

DON'T ever feel threatened by your future

live and love life day by day

DON'T ever feel guilty about ur past

Whats done is done just learn from it

DON'T ever feel that ur alone

these is always som1 there for u

to reach out to

DON'T ever forget that you can achieve

so many of the things you can imagine

imagine that with me

DONT ever stop loving,

DONT ever stop caring,

DONT ever stop believing,

IF U STOP THAT MEANS THERES NO MORE OF ME

sum thoughts..... nov 16,2008

As i watch the time pass by... all i can think about is u and i.... i want u more than i want my next breath... i need u more than my eyes need rest..... its been 1hour 32mins and 22,23,24 secs... since i read the words u typed.... its been 3days since i saw your flawless face....... its been 3days since i kissed your smooth lips....i don't think u feeling this.... u see i cant bare the thought of u not near...... (i know u might be speechless right now) but this is simply my heart crying out for you...... my heart screaming for your soul.... you see my 1 4 is missing the 3....and my 3 is you........ as i watch the clock tic toc... every tic make a tear drop... because I'm loosing time without you......i miss you, i miss you.... words cant begin to express how i feel right now.... well since i cant find words ima end this until my new words are found.......

143 sum thoughts

At times i wish i can go BACK in time. WHY? to go over my foot steps, to clear all my paths so my LOVE life can go so much easier. THEN again i LOVE the challenge of my LIfe... You see most ppl may think LOVE is just a FOUR letter WORD. which in some way it is...BUT... LOVE is more than that. LOVE is LIFE... u cant live LIFE with out LOVE. i cant live my LIFE with out YOUR LOVE. time and time again i try to make myself believe that i cant fall in LOVE...... but my thoughts seem to fail me all the time. my SOUL takes over and baby u got in my soul... we connect like no other i wish things can be different.. nawwww i take that back i like the way things are going.. becuz im walking into this in the ***DARK***

and a wise soul once told me its better to be in that way....:]...soo darkness watchout im here to stay..im not use to this but whatever you are doing to me please dont stop i love this lil spell im under..... i love it when u smile, your smile makes my heart smile, i love it when your sad, because ur frown lets my mind know u care, i love it when you hold me, because the tighter you hold the more my body feels safe, i love it when u leave me, as weird as it may sound I LOVE IT WHEN WE MISS EACHOTHER because it makes my emotions know the next time we come near eachother we will cherish every which moment.. i love it when we are both mad at eachother ..because making up is the best... you see i love u for u and u love me for me.. and i know we arent quite together and we are a lil more than friends but just know now that whatever spell u have me under i dont want it 2 end.......

ALL that 2 say i1LOVE4YOU3......